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Tue, 6 Aug 2013


Back in October last year in another Interwebby place I mentioned Quorn, and I was very rude about it - I described this picture of Quorn "sausages" as looking like "a plate with two turds and some vomit on it".

I had eaten it many years before, but not recently, and so, on the premise that it had improved since, was persuaded to try it again.

I had to be persuaded though, because I am firmly of the opinion that meat replacements are just plain lazy, they fail because they are never as good as meat, and they give vegetarian food a bad name. It's no surprise that non-veggies who have been exposed to dishes with meat "replacements" in them think that veggie food is bland rubbish consisting solely of plastic, mud and lettuce.

Here follows the two mini-reviews that I wrote. First, Quorn "Chef's Selection" sausages:

They were fucking awful. They had no real texture, just a smooth homogeneity. They tasted of powdered onion and garlic with some unidentifiable herbs and spices. I'm not sure if they're better or worse than cheap stupormarket sausages, because it's so many years since I bought crap sausages, but they're certainly in the same ballpark although they cost twice as much.

For the love of god: vegetarians, avoid these sausages.

Any chef involved in selecting them should be shot in the head with a bolt gun and turned into better sausages. A few days later I tried Quorn "Lamb style grills in a mint and rosemary glaze":

What the packaging should have said is "tasteless dry thing that looks like an insole from a small boot with no flavour and a bland texture, in a mint and rosemary glaze". Quorn: consistently shit.
Posted at 17:03 by David Cantrell
keywords: food
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