I am blessed, for I have accepted Greg as my personal Saviour.
Here's a calendar of the major Holy Days:
- 13 Feb: the drinkday of the Holy Saint Oliver
- at which it is customary to drink rum and partake in the ancient art of arm-wrestling
- 11 Apr: the fastday of the Blessèd Jeremy
- customary activities currently illegal in most jurisdictions
- 27 May: the feast of the Blessèd Heston of Bray
- during which believers carefully wash their hands
- 9 Oct: the shoutday of the Blessèd Brian
- A WONDERFUL DAY ON WHICH WE DROWN OUT ALL LESSER FAITHS
- 16 Oct: the witday of the Holy Saint Oscar
- Traditionally one is supposed to watch television and drink lager on this day, because art and all higher things are useless. However, most modern Gregologians maintain that these observances are optional and that Saint Oscar should be celebrated by wearing silly clothes and reading poetry.
- 28 Dec: the feast of Saint Keith the Bankrupt
- At which one carefully measures just how high you managed to piss money up the wall while joining in the celebrations of the heathen feast of Christmas.