| Thu, 16 Aug 2007
Permalink | 2 Comments | ||
| Wed, 11 Jul 2007
Ooo-arrrr ul AkbarrrrrCornish terrorism at its best. Never mind blowing shit up because your country is under foreign occupation, or you're politically repressed, it's all about house prices. | ||
| Tue, 15 May 2007
Permalink | 1 Comment | ||
| Mon, 30 Apr 2007
Champagne WHAT!?!?!I just read "champagne lunch" as "champagne crotch". Help! Nurse! My brain has broken again! | ||
| Mon, 16 Apr 2007
A brilliant ideaI have had a brilliant idea. Take a bottle of gin. Drink half of it. Then fill the bottle with biltong. Let it sit for a coupla weeks, pour through a coffee filter into another bottle, and you have meat-flavoured booze! And alcoholic meat! Huzzah! | ||
| Thu, 15 Mar 2007
Vampire ElectronicsFor the last couple of days, my wireless network has been rather unreliable and I've been trying to figger out why. It turns out that an Apple Airport base station which flidded out a couple of years ago, and which I never unplugged because it was buried amidst a tangle of other cables, has spontaneously risen from the grave and is now working. It was breaking shit because it was on the same IP address and announcing the same SSID as the machine that had replaced it as my wireless router. How odd. (If you object to my use of 'flid' above, please read 'spaz' instead) | ||
| Sat, 3 Mar 2007
Googling for your self considered harmfulGoogling for yourself can be harmful to your mental health. I just found this. | ||
| Thu, 28 Dec 2006
Amazon recommendationsToday I ordered a spoon from Amazon. This seems to have screwed up its recommendations system so now it seems to be ignoring the zillion bits of sci-fi, the zombie flicks and the metal CDs I've bought and thinks that I want:
mixed in with:
Well done Amazon, you score two out of ten. And what the FUCK is an omelette turner? | ||
| Tue, 12 Dec 2006
On RimmingImagine how relieved I was to find that rimming sugar is used in cocktail bars and not in revolting sexual practices. DAS ARSEHOLE NICHT FÜR GETONGUENPOKEN! | ||
| Fri, 1 Dec 2006
Interwebnets roundupSome things that got my attention in the past few days ... David Cantrell's home burnt down and now he lives in an old bus, according to the Dallas Morning News. You too can get bizarre stories about your evil twins emailed to you with Google Alerts. A retard tried to ban a couple's Christmas peace symbol because, well, clearly, Christ was only joking when he said "blessed are the peace-makers". And finally, I owe the hip-hop community an apology. I have previously dismissed all their work as "illiterate shouty crap". But now Baba Brinkman, a Canadian student of Mediæval and Renaissance English, has set the Canterbury Tales to music. It's still shouty crap, of course, but illiterate it is not. | ||
| Wed, 15 Nov 2006
My Brane, it is BrokenFor reasons best left unexplained, I said "cryogenic fluid" a few moments ago on IRC. That reminded me that there was a business card in my wallet which needed to be transferred to electronic storage. I have no idea why. | ||
| Sat, 11 Nov 2006
Abuse of BoozeWhisky toddy made with port-casked Bowmore tastes weird. Nice, but weird. (look, I've run out of my normal cooking whisky, OK?) | ||
| Fri, 8 Sep 2006
More weird dreamsFurry snakes (fake fur too, yuck) with cats' heads were menacing trains going through Purley, jumping on board and killing the passengers. At some point the dream switched to looking like it was shot on 16mm black and white film, and when I looked out of the window of the train I yelled "continuity error!" cos the view outside was looking down the side of the train instead of out at the fields. The ticket inspector reassured me that it had been done for dramatic reasons and I shouldn't worry. | ||
| Mon, 3 Jul 2006
New SuperheroesThere is definitely a space in the comics universe for Super-philosophers. We could have Descartes the Ninja, penetrating unseen into his enemies' lairs by temporarily refusing to think and consequently not existing and being undetectable while sneaking around. Archimedes could answer the Eureka-phone in his bathtub, which would be made of marble and have many steps and columns*. He would have a magic lever which would ignore Newton's third law. Nietzsche would be just like Superman, except not giving a flying fuck about anyone else. Ignatius Loyola could defeat his enemies with the AWESOME POWER of casuistry. * it would be most tranquil | ||
| Fri, 30 Jun 2006
The world has gone madI had to renew my car insurance, so I phoned the company that had given me the cheapest quote when I was ringing around, and told them I wanted to take them up on their quote. At which point they dropped the price. I fully expect to see cats lieing down with dogs, group hugs in Jerusalem, and the pope saying "that Luther guy, he had a good point". | ||
| Wed, 14 Jun 2006
Weird dreamsLast night I dreamt that an eskimo was advising me on how best to cook camels. Apparently cross-dressing camels taste best. | ||
| Tue, 6 Jun 2006
Did you know that ...... the average woman is just one tenth of an inch tall. You just never notice the vast majority of them, crushing them under your feet as you go. | ||
| Sun, 28 May 2006
When ads go wrongI've been keeping an eye on things, and most of the time, Google puts pretty However, on occasion it goes amusingly wrong. Not Google's fault, but some idiot has obviously bought an ad for thousands of keywords without thinking about it, and so this 'ere journal is currently advertising ...
So how exactly does one order a burning cross online? | ||
| Wed, 12 Apr 2006
Permalink | 0 Comments | ||
