Harry Harris is insane
Some of the people being held in the US's holiday camp at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba have managed to kill themselves. According to the officer in charge, a Rear Admiral Harry Harris (and I thought names like that only appeared in bad detective fiction), the suicides had committed "an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us".
Fire up the millennium because the cows are on the ceiling!
[update: another lunatic has claimed that they killed themselves as a PR stunt]