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Wed, 7 May 2008

Ask Lisa

nationalrail.co.uk has a new thingy called "Ask Lisa" which attempts to answer natural language questions. My conversation with it went something like this:

Q: can i take a leper on a train?

A: Customers may take up to 3 items of personal luggage free of charge

Q: am i allowed to drink thirteen bottles of champagne and vomit in a lady's shoes?

A: I'm afraid my specialty (sic) is travelling by train and I cannot answer questions about clothing.

Q: what will happen if I kill myself on a railway station?

A: To find out about a particular station, you can search on the page I'm loading for you now [in a different window]

This thing is great fun. I recommend that you all abuse it.

Posted at 23:32 by David Cantrell
keywords: silly | transport
Permalink | 4 Comments

*grin*

Q: will you marry me?

A: I'm not really one for commitment - except to National Rail Enquiries, of course!

Q: I hate you

A: Why? What have I done?

Q: fucking railway!

A: I don't know very much about the privatisation of the railway - but there is an informative article on the Wikipedia website which give this detailed information.

Fairly informative, actually! :-)

Posted by Philip Paeps on Thu, 8 May 2008 at 08:22:15


"You asked:

is it Thursday

Lisa says:

This time tomorrow, today will be yesterday ..."

very deep :)

Posted by se71 on Thu, 8 May 2008 at 08:58:36


I would like to plant a bomb in order to commit a terorist outrage. Which would be the best station and what would be the best approach given the limited amount of explosives I have (200 grammes of Semptex)?

Lisa says:

This site is not monitored and your message has not been read. If you need urgent police assistance, call 999, to report any suspicious activity call the anti-terrorism hotline on 0800 789 321, or for all non-urgent police matters relating to the Rail Network call British Transport Police on 0800 405040.

Pah! Call that artificial intelligence? No Connex monkey would give such a good answer.

Posted by Geeklawyer on Fri, 9 May 2008 at 09:03:34


I threatened to kill her, swore at her and asked her for marriage.

Alas, she would not give in.

Posted by Councillor on Tue, 10 Feb 2009 at 17:03:00


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