Dave's Free Press: Journal
http://www.cantrell.org.uk/david/journal
violence, pornography, and rude words for the web generationen-usZ Black helicopters
http://www.cantrell.org.uk/david/journal/id/LJIMPORT-Black-helicopters
A couple of nights ago the <a href=http://www.krug.org/unit/un/hood.htm>UN Stormtroopers</a> snuck into my flat and turned off my alarm while I was asleep, then crept out and disappeared in their black helicopters. Hence my alarm didn't go off, and I was late for work.<p>That got me thinking about black helicopters and why you never see them. It seems that the UN control all the paint manufacturers, and make them formulate black paint <em>so that it won't stick to helicopter-shaped objects</em>. Of course, the UN can get ordinary black paint, so can paint their helicopters black.<p>So how, if I can't get suitable black paint, can I make a black helicopter? I thought of two ways:<p>1 - build a helicopter, any damned colour you like. Also train a large number of black cats to hate helicopters. Then set them loose. <em>Nothing</em>, not even UN Stormtroopers, can stop an angry cat. So you have a helicopter covered in black cats. Spray them with glue, and hey presto, black helicopter. And as a special free bonus, their fur absorbs radar and your helicopter has nine lives!<p>2 - build a helicopter out of bananananas. Then leave your yellow helicopter out in the sun. It will turn black. 2004-05-14T22:45:00Z